Why Exercise Feels Impossible (And How to Finally Make It Stick)
In this episode, we’re tackling the start-and-stop cycle of exercise. Why is something so good for us so hard to stick with? Yuna and Eddie share their personal struggles with getting active, the surprising psychology behind building a lasting habit, and why the key might just be finding an activity you actually enjoy. From overcoming the dreaded first few weeks to the science of small wins, we’re breaking down how to make exercise a sustainable part of your life.
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Juna: So, since we're in January, there's once again a lot of people who are starting or restarting their goal to exercise. Let me tell ya, I've been there you guys. Many a year. Because I always make my goal, it was always running based. I don't know why I thought running was like the exercise. And it was like, I don't know how many years in a row, probably five or six years in a row.
Eddie: That was the goal for you?
Juna: Yeah, it was like to run basically.
Eddie: So we're going to talk about a lot of things beyond running. Running is great. But let me just say, you know, I've said this before, and I'm not the only one. If exercise were a drug, it would be prescribed for everyone. That's true. There would be over the counter kinds of exercise.
And yet We struggle to take the drug. There's so many benefits, it's so hard to maintain the exercise for so many of us.
Juna: Well, you know, when you list, like, I remember one time I saw this thing that was like, which drug can do all these things, and it was like, improve mental capacity, improve physical capacity, improve your heart health, and all these like, long, long list of things.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Eddie: And
Juna: you're like, it's a miracle! And it's just exercise, and you're like, no!
Eddie: So why isn't everyone doing it?
Juna: Because it's honestly not that fun a lot of times. It hurts when you first start a lot of the time. You're out of breath. You're sweaty. You have to do more laundry. We're a
Eddie: unit. We're supposed
Juna: to be.
Curse you people. It ruins your hair. And can I say something too? Ever since I started Jiu Jitsu. I also want to say it's making me uglier. You know why? Bruises everywhere. I look crazy.
Eddie: So what we're here to give you today is a practical step by step guide to not just starting exercise, but also to making it a habit that sticks this time around.
Juna: On today's episode, how can we stop starting and stopping exercise? How to make it a lasting, lifelong habit that you also may just possibly enjoy.
Eddie: If not love.
Juna: Whoa. I'm Yuna Yata.
Eddie: And I'm Dr. Eddie Phillips, associate professor at Harvard Medical School.
Juna: And you're listening to Food We Need to Talk, the only health podcast that's scientifically proven.
That no matter how many times you do an episode on exercise, there's always another one that can come out. There's always something else to talk about.
Eddie: So, before we start the episode, you know, I just want to say that so many people listen to us and they are challenged by writing down things that they're learning and where is that study?
And I want to share this and, and guess what? What? Take a breath. We have put together a newsletter for you. It's got. All of the key points, it's got the links, it's got, not all the jokes, you have to listen to us for that.
Juna: Yeah, now everybody's gonna leave the podcast and go straight to the newsletter.
Eddie: But, if you want the newsletter, it's really simple, it's free, there's no spam, we're not selling you anything, just go to food.
We need to talk dot com forward slash email to sign up now.
Juna: And one more thing I want to talk about, you guys, is that last year we did a series over on our Patreon membership where every single day of January, there was a mini episode all about exercise. So if you listen to this episode and you find yourself thinking, hey.
This is interesting to me. I want to hear more. I want to learn more. I want more encouragement than you guys. I have great news for you. If you go to foodwentotalk. com flash membership, there are 31 mini episodes all about exercise, inspired by the podcast that our dear Dr. Edward M. Phillips actually created years ago called The Magic Pill.
Eddie: Right, and we won an Edward R. Murrow award for that podcast episode.
Juna: So Used to have this, was it daily?
Eddie: It was. It was 21 days. We did, what we did was we created by email, you'd receive 21 episodes, sort of a daily dose,
Juna (2): right?
Eddie: So what we have in the Patreon, you could binge if you want, but we designed it so that you'd get a little nudge every day, uh, throughout January or whenever you start it.
So go to our. Membership feed.
Juna: Or you can also click the link in our show notes. And I really hope that this helps some people. This helps them with their exercise goal because I've literally been there trying to start exercising, hating it, stopping, starting. And hopefully this will change some of your minds.
And now to the episode. Eddie, I want you to take the lead because this is your wheelhouse.
Eddie: Absolutely. So I've been at this, oh my gosh, for going on 20 years, which was wrestling with the idea of like, if exercise is so damn good, why doesn't everyone do it? I'm going to start with just sort of a definition or you sort of like, we're teasing the idea that there's so many benefits.
Well, there's a, a guideline, the physical activity guidelines for Americans. And it's a 700 page report talking primarily about all of the benefits of exercise. And yet that's not enough. To get us to do it, you know, you were disparaging exercise just a moment ago saying that you had to be, you know, hot and sweaty and your hair.
Oh, my gosh. I, I gave up concern about my hair years ago. I gave up my hair.
Juna: Eddie is.
Eddie: The first thing I'll do is just draw a small distinction, which is really important, which is when I talk to patients and I mentioned the word exercise and they sort of cringe and fall into themselves and their shoulders come up and they look uncomfortable, I switch and I ask, so what are you doing for physical activity?
And physical activity is actually what our body needs. It means that you are doing something. That is burning more energy than just what it takes to keep you alive. As you and I sit here today, we are sitting as I spend much of the rest of my day sitting. Um, we're going to be spending about one metabolic equivalent, which is just kind of what it takes to keep you alive.
Keep the lights on.
Juna (2): Yeah.
Eddie: Okay. As soon as you spend a multiple of that, like one and a half times, it means that you're spending energy doing something. You are standing. You are walking. You are. Uh, participating in yoga, you are dancing, you are doing whatever you want. Exercise is a small subset. It's got this horrible definition, it talks about that it's repetitive.
And you're doing it for a goal because you're trying to get more physically fit. And already Yuna's eyes are rolling back. And she's going like, I don't want to do that. I want to do the stuff that I want to do.
Juna (2): I
Eddie: want to wrestle with people and throw them to the ground with, with seeming ease. I want to, I want to, I just like
Juna: fighting.
Eddie: Perfect! Then, you know what the best prescription for you is?
Juna: What?
Eddie: Go fight! Yeeeah! So this is the first thing, whatever it is you want to do, I love doing this with audiences, I say like, on the count of three, shout out your favorite kind of physical activity. Okay. And everyone shouts out all sorts of different things, and then I say like, I just heard dancing, and gardening, and I heard yoga, and I heard running, and I heard sailing, I heard horseback riding.
Any of these things that gets you out of your chair and you're moving, you are benefiting your body.
Juna: Yes.
Eddie: But now, okay, you know, am I alone? Am I the only one that's not exercising? I don't know if this makes you feel better, but the recommendations. are 150 minutes per week of moderate intensity physical activity, I'll translate that, like a brisk walk, okay?
And it's over the course of the week, and you can accumulate it, and yes, you can do it all on the weekend if you want. And only half the population is getting that much. If you translate it into steps, That's actually way more than I thought. Um, the, that's the easy one, the resistance exercise. Right. Where you're encouraged to work against some sort of resistance, it could be a band, it could be lifting up soup cans, it could be going to a fancy gym, and paying someone lots of money to yell at you, it could be doing squats, it could be doing any of those things, that's resistance exercise, you want to get all of your major moves.
Body parts in there takes you about 20 to 30 minutes at a minimum twice a week, only probably less than a third of the population is getting that. So if you're not exercising, I don't want this to be an encouragement, but you're not alone.
Juna: Yes, it's very common.
Eddie: So what's it going to take you? What did it take for you?
Juna: What did it take from you guys? Well, not the best of motivations, I just wanted my body to look different, but I feel like that did not really stick, like, me wanting my body to look different did not ever cause the changes it was supposed to change, and, I just want to say, I always know if somebody is going to stick to exercise or not, based on why they're exercising, because I feel like, Every person that's like, This is my year!
I wanna look at da da da by my birthday! You know? Uh huh. I wanna lose X pounds by my birthday! That sort of behavior. I'm always like, Okay, uh, I'll see you three weeks from now. See you a month from now. It's not gonna happen. Because You're just literally counting down the clock, being like, I can't wait till this is over so I can reach this goal and be done.
You know what I mean? It's just not ever going to sustain because you clearly don't like it. So, the only time exercise stuck for me was when I started weightlifting, when I was a senior in college. And I started it for the same reason I started the other things, which was I wanted to look a certain way.
I saw a girl that lifted weights. I thought she looked really good. And I wanted to look like her, so I started lifting weights. And then the reason it stuck this time was because I got super obsessed with the progress I was seeing. Not physically, like not my body I mean, but in terms of my strength.
Because I just could see that I was improving week after week. And I was like, whoa, I want to see. How much I can improve. I want to see how much stronger I can get. I want to see if I can do a pull up. I want to see all these goals I had just changed to performance based goals and the rest is history. So now I've been regularly lifting, I guess for the past, let's see, I started in 2017.
So it'd be the past eight years. And last year was the first year I really took a step back and started other forms of exercise more regularly because I was so into lifting. But I think the really important lesson in that is that if you're just doing it because you think it's good for you or just doing it to look a certain way, unfortunately, that's a reservoir of motivation that is limited and finite and is going to run out at a certain point.
Eddie: So let me pick up on one of the things that you said, which is that you were getting positive feedback. You were enjoying the positive feedback saying like, Oh my God, I am getting stronger and stronger. There's no end. I can keep on going. And so right away, you're, you're mentioning some of the psychology of getting more physically fit that.
What a wonderful thing for you to be able to say, I can do something this week that I couldn't do last week
Juna (2): and I could
Eddie: look forward to next week. There's a cool thing, just a tiny bit of science that when you first start to do your lifting, your resistance exercise, the initial. Almost instantaneous, you know, within the first number of hours of exercise is your nervous system starts to coordinate the firing of your muscles.
So they were, you know, when you go to lift the weight, your muscles are, you know, if you're healthy. Your nerves are firing the muscles, the muscles are pulling on the tendons to get the joints to move, and the weight goes up over your head, but you get better and better at it, kind of like if I watched someone learning how to do dance or learn an instrument, you get more and more coordinated, and that's what happens right away, it's such a cool feeling to see that, and to feel it, so I would, you know, just sort of lean in right away to do something That you can get a measurable change
Juna: and
Eddie: be mindful of it and rejoice in it.
Now, I talked about 150 minutes per week. That's actually demotivational for a lot of people who are getting like zero. Let's talk about the science of small wins. What would it take to get up out of your chair and do a five minute walk, you know, like use an alarm clock. There are things you could put on your computer that after a certain number of keystrokes, there's such a thing as mouse mileage.
After you've used your mouse, you know, a certain amount of time, the computer gently nudges you to say, I don't know, maybe take a break here, get up, you know, what would it take to start stringing together some five minute walks?
Juna: Right. It's not a black and white thing of I hit the 150 minutes or I didn't.
It's. A spectrum of activity, so some activity is better than no activity, and even if you only go once a week to yoga, it's better than not going at all. And this mindset of like, I didn't hit my goal, therefore I shouldn't go, is your biggest enemy I think when it comes to actually exercising, because there are always going to be times your life is busy, that's okay, you have other things to do, you have other priorities, that's totally fine, and all we can do is do our best.
In the time that we have and so whatever you can get to is and another thing I want to talk about that I feel like also made me more consistent when I actually started to do it was I feel like I really got indoctrinated into a culture when I started working out at the gym because there are certain shoes that everybody wears when they go to the gym and there are certain clothes they all wear And there's certain jargon they all know.
And I feel like I was really excited to join this group.
Juna (2): And at
Juna: first I felt like an outsider and I felt like I wasn't included. But then like six months in, I was like, yeah, I know all the words. I know the secret code. I know the brands everybody wears. And I just feel like I really liked that. And I think some people find it very intimidating.
But if there is a culture that you want to be a part of, even if you're a little scared of it, I think. Trying to dress like them and learn things they know and go to the places they go to can be really fun because it makes you feel a part of a community. So, I mean, Pilates or yoga, they have some of like the strongest communities, right?
Mm hmm. Or like spinning.
Eddie: CrossFit is actually based in large part on a community which you join. And it's also the encouragement
Juna (2): comes
Eddie: from the community. We have friends that have taken up, as they sort of face retirement, taking up Dancing like salsa dancing
Juna: and
Eddie: you know, part of what they seem to enjoy.
We haven't tried this yet is not just learning the steps, not just being together and not just sort of like getting out and moving in the evening, but the crowd, you know, the people that they meet and then where we're dancing tomorrow night. So there are all these cultures, if that sings to you, you know, for many people exercising or being physically active means.
Oh my gosh, it's the one time when I can get away from everything else. And if that works for you, then exercise alone. If you want someone to tell you what to do, guess what? How many tens of thousands of exercise videos are there on YouTube? So many. That you can try and you can do that. Any movement is going to be beneficial.
Be mindful of how it makes you feel. I mean, for me. One of the things I love is doing enough kind of baseline resistance exercise and sort of like the core of running, swimming and biking that I can then take on anything else, you know, as it gets colder and there's some snow up north to go out cross country skiing and to have the capacity to actually move as fast as I want to.
Not as fast as I used to, but as fast as I reasonably want to now is such a strong psychological push.
Juna: So, I love that we've really focused this episode not on the actual physical things like what is exercise, what do you actually need to do? Because To me, really, the most important parts of making exercise consistent are truly the psychological factors.
Juna (2): Mm hmm.
Juna: Like, everybody knows you're supposed to exercise. Everybody knows that there's cardio and resistance training. And Yet, we still don't do it, right? And I feel like the most important things are the stuff we've been talking about, which is finding your why.
Juna (2): Mm hmm.
Juna: Having a really good reason that's not just I want to look a certain way or I want to lose X number of pounds.
Finding a community that you actually want to be a part of.
Juna (2): Mm hmm.
Juna: Finding something that you can see your progress so that you feel like you're moving forward. Mm
Juna (2): hmm.
Juna: Finding an activity you enjoy. And these things to me are way more important than like you need to be able to squat 50 pounds and you need to be able to run a 10 minute mile, like you know what I mean?
Those things just, they're not big motivators in the long run and we're going to talk a little bit more about all the things that a lot of people struggle with when they start exercising when we get back from this break. But, before we do. I just want to say, if you're enjoying this episode, if you are having fun listening, if you want to have an exercise buddy, an accountability buddy, and you guys want to get into it together this year, please be sure to share this episode with your friend, your mom, your dad, your sibling, whoever you think needs to hear it, because I think that a lot of us just don't think about these things when we make an exercise goal for the new year.
And with that, we'll be right back after this break.
Eddie: And we're back, and we're going to take on some of the most common barriers to getting moving.
Juna: So, Eddie, I want to talk about the things that I think a lot of people struggle with when they first start exercising, because I'm going to say right now, everybody talks about how fun exercise is, how they love exercise, how it makes them feel so good, and you might hear it and you're like, oh my god, yes, I want to feel that way.
I want to like exercise. I want to be fit and healthy as this is my year and you go exercise and it freaking sucks And you're miserable and you're like guess i'm a weirdo and i'm just never gonna be like those people
Eddie: Let's just for the listeners. Let's yeah separate those things. Let's start with um a miserable.
Juna: Yeah, so, okay A lot of the time, when people start exercising, like when I started going to the gym, I did not like it. Like, okay, for example, for me, running, very miserable. I was so out of breath. I was so sweaty. My lungs felt like they were dying. And I remember, did I tell you, have I told you the story about how my roommate went running for the first time?
She's so funny. And she was like, I think I have a heart condition because I don't think I can run. And I was like, why? And she's like, because
Eddie: I was out of breath. I was so out of breath and my
Juna: heart was pounding. She's like, I don't think I'm gonna have a heart attack. And I was like, Okay. I think that's just running.
Eddie: I mean, I'm laughing, but if you haven't, you know, so for a lot of people, that feeling is really uncomfortable.
Juna: Yeah.
Eddie: And there's this really wonderful conundrum where demonstrably, meaning that there's lots of studies that show that exercise can help with anxiety.
Juna (2): Yeah.
Eddie: And it can also help with just feeling anxious, even if you haven't been diagnosed.
And yet, if you start out too fast, like sounds like your roommate did, and you start to out of breath, and you can't catch your breath. Well, that sounds a lot like being anxious.
Juna (2): Yeah.
Eddie: You know, if not having like a full panic attack. So maybe, maybe, maybe it's okay. to start a little slower. Yeah. And just to get to the point where you're in control of your breath.
Juna (2): Yep. You
Eddie: know, when we talk about the myriad benefits of exercise, you can accrue like 85 percent of these benefits without ever breaking a sweat. Yes. And without getting out of breath. Yes. And let's lean into them. If you want to work vigorously where you can't talk to your neighbor who you choose to exercise with, then sure, that's fine.
I love to work vigorously. But I've accommodated to it and I, you know, I sort of enjoy it, but you never have to get there. So if you're feeling miserable while exercising, you need to try a different exercise or go at a different pace.
Juna: Yeah, I totally agree. And I didn't realize this, so I hated running for so long.
And it's because my heart rate was always in like the 160s, 170s whenever I was running. And then I talked to my friend who runs and he's like, you know, your heart rate should really be in the 140s when you run, right? And I was like, What? I was just running way too fast.
Juna (2): Right.
Juna: Which, by the way, guys, is very slow.
I'm a very slow runner, but in terms of what my body could handle, I was running faster than I should be for like a 30 to 60 minute jog, your heart rate should not be in the 170s the whole time you're running for an hour, right? And then when I ran and my heart rate was in the 140s, I was like, this is a piece of cake!
This is what people do when they say they're running? Are you kidding me? And
Eddie: yet you were getting, like I said, like the vast majority of the benefits. Yeah. You talked about the, kind of like it hurts. So I have conversations with my patients all day long about getting more active and when they call me back, A few days later, and they go, my muscles are really sore.
And I say in a, in a nice supportive way, congratulations.
Juna (2): Yeah.
Eddie: That's what's supposed to happen when you first get started, your muscles are conditioning. There's a delayed, delayed onset, muscle soreness, D O M S Doms. And just, you know, kind of like walk it off and give yourself a little massage. And. You know, consider putting out some sports cream.
You know, there's things you can do if your joints are hurting
Juna: bad
Eddie: bad You know something's gone wrong You're you've overtaxed and and come back in and let's sort this out So but if your joints are not hurting and you're a little bit sore your body will accommodate remarkably quickly And what you've done this week Yep.
Next week is not going to bother you.
Juna: So, to summarize, if you are in pain or very uncomfortable when you're exercising, I'd say, number one, you may need to lower the intensity because you're starting out. It may just be that you're doing too much. Number two, You might need to shift your mindset as in if your muscles are sore, instead of thinking, Oh, I'm in so much pain, they're so sore.
I would think like, Yes, they're growing.
Eddie: They are. Yeah. They're responding to the medical. I'm causing
Juna: an effect. Like I'm like, I did something. I felt like if I felt sore, I did something, which is also problematic mindset in and of itself. But I think in the beginning when you're starting out, you have to shift how you think about muscle soreness a little bit.
And then number three, I also want to say that like. It's just part of starting to exercise. If you're going from untrained to training, there is going to be an adjustment period where your body has to learn to adjust to that, and it's going to be uncomfortable. But that's true of anything that you start that's new.
It's always uncomfortable in the beginning. And you kind of just need to wade through it until you get to the other side. And it doesn't take that long. Like I guarantee you two to three months in, you are not going to be anywhere near as sore or out of breath as you were when you first started. And for a lot of people, it's just really hard to get to that point because you feel like giving up because it's so miserable every time you do it.
So I just want to say like, it definitely does get better, but it is something that everybody has to go through when they first start exercising and that's okay. And just remembering that. Everybody has gone through this before and it's just part of starting something new and part of your body growing and you growing and your mental toughness growing.
And so I just think it's all a part of the journey of beginning to exercise.
Eddie: So let me just share a story and sort of advice I gave to a patient years ago, and this was someone who wanted to get more active. And the first thing we did, and we've talked about this on other episodes, is I said, let's collect some data first.
You know, you say that you're inactive, what, you know, what does that mean? So, almost everyone has on their phones now or on your watch a step counter. So, it's just sort of like, go through a week and look at how many steps on average you do. So, this person was doing like 3, 500 steps. Which is kind of what you get for brushing your teeth and going to the car and driving to the office and just sort of like normal movement.
And the advice was not jumping up to 10, 000 steps, but rather on average at about 500 steps per day. And try to do that increase every week.
Juna (2): Got it?
Eddie: So the 3, 500 was now just nudge it up, go to 4,
Juna (2): 000.
Eddie: It's about a hundred steps to the minute. That's an extra five minutes. So the person was able to do that.
And then the following week, another 500. You get the idea. So the rest of the story is that some months later, we could do the calculations. This same patient comes back. And she's there because she twisted her ankle. So I look at the ankle. I said, you know, how'd that happen? She said, well, you know, I decided to take up tennis.
Well, that's great. So I used to play as a kid, blah, blah, blah. And this is before pickleball was so popular. And, and I, and I asked her about her physical activity. And she said very proudly, she goes, I do 18, 500 steps a day.
Juna (2): Oh my God. Which is like nine and a
Eddie: half miles. That's insane.
Juna: I
Eddie: said, I thought we talked about adding 500 steps a week.
She goes, yes. You never told me to stop. Oh my lordy. So she was up to like nine and a half miles and was in like such good shape. That's like four
Juna: hours of walking for everybody listening.
Eddie: Well, it depends how fast you walk. But she incorporated it into her routine. But what the fun part was that she felt so much more, so much more like self efficacy.
Yeah. And so much more confidence in her body that she said like, You know, I really don't want to walk anymore. Let's go. Let's go hit a ball against an opponent So this is really sort of the joy of having your body be able to do more You know as we start to wrap this up I just want to add one other piece which is that I just love how twisted our brains are That if you talk to people about the benefits of exercise as we're doing, and all of the diseases that you could forestall or reverse or, or, or treat, that is less motivational than just getting in touch with how much better you feel.
And a lot of that is psychological. Um, if you just focus on exercise and how it affects your mood, and that you will be demonstrably Better and happier after a five minute break from prolonged sitting, that's going to be more motivational for most people,
Juna: right? Don't do it for the disease prevention. Mm hmm.
The weight loss the longevity all those things.
Eddie: They'll come great
Juna: But do it because of how you feel afterwards. You have to try it for a little bit, like you have to give it a little fair chance, you know, a couple weeks to up to three months. I think you will definitely feel the difference afterwards when you actually give it a chance.
And with that, in our bonus episode, we're going to be talking all about how to make exercise a habit, which means an automatic behavior that you don't have to think about, that you don't have to argue with yourself about every single time you want to go exercise. So stay tuned for that. You can go to food.
We need to talk.com/membership or click the link in our show notes. You can find us at food. We need to talk on Instagram. You can find our daily exercise series. Mm-hmm . Also at the membership, which was so much fun to make. There are like five to 10 minute episodes every single day that you can take with you whenever you go exercise that will motivate you to keep going.
Mm-hmm . You can find me at the official Una on Instagram and Unata on YouTube and TikTok, and you can find Eddie.
Eddie: out skiing, as long as there's some snow.
Juna: Oh yes! Actually, I'm going on a ski trip very soon to Utah.
Eddie: I'm talking cross country where there's none of these fancy lifts and whatever.
Juna: Okay, Eddie.
But you know what?
Eddie: Each of us has our jam. I guess so. And let's enjoy it. And
Juna: that's the lesson, Eddie. Everybody has Their own type of exercise, right? They like food. We need to Talk is produced by Rebecca Seidel and Morgan Flannery.
Eddie: We are distributed by PRX.
Juna: We were co-created by Kerry Goldberg, George Hicks, Eddie Phillips, and me.
Eddie: For any personal health questions, please consult your health provider. To find out more, go to food. We need to talk.com. Listen, thanks for listening. Listening.
